From The Heart

I am speaking to those women out there that do not have kids of their own. For the longest time (in my twenties) I thought I was Ok with not having kids. I was single and never saw myself as needing to have kids; I had a career and barely had time to take care of myself. I was busy coaching, traveling, playing and being me. Then when I turned 30 and married for the first time I REALLY began to think about my life and the relationship that I have with my mother. How wonderful it would be to share things with someone like we do. Thankfully I didn't have a child with my first husband - that would have been a train wreck.
Now that I am with the most wonderful man, the one that was meant for me, I have really felt the desire to have kids of my own. Having a step son who is a teenager and w been raised by other people is fun because he already knows how to clean dishes and mow the lawn and I love him and love having him around on our weekends. He has a heart the size of Texas; he gets that from his Dad and Grandparents. It still is not the same. When he is with us, he is a perfect kid. I know he is still a teenager giving people fits at times.
There have been people in the past that have said that I would be a better teacher, coach if I had kids of my own because I would understand how the parents feel and would better understand my students. How true is that? Who knows.
Here is where I am going with all of this. I would like to know how one goes through middle age and older life not having a child to share their love and life with. My 5 closest friends do not have kids and we never really talk about this issue. One friend decided a long time ago with her husband that they would never have kids. That is an OK decision for them. But I have NEVER totally made that decision. I feel like I am missing out on something BIG in life that has only been because of the circumstances dealt me in life. How does one figure out what to do with the reality that there is no one to share my past, future, and family history with? I have so much love that I would like to share with a child. Now I am too old to even think about having a child that it would be foolish to even think about it. Who wants to have parents that are almost 60 at graduation? It may be God's plan but I am not liking it right now. So if you are a praying person please pray that I have peace with what ever life gives me and be joyous in it. God does not give us anything we can not handle!!

Does God know better than I do and have a plan for me that I haven't figured out yet?

Winter Is Here

Since my last post we have celebrated MawMaw's 92nd birthday, I have gone to the State Volleyball tournament in San Marcos at the end of November.

MawMaw's 92nd birthday was success. All of her Kids so many of her Grand kids and Great Grandchildren got to attend. The pictures show how everyone enjoyed their time. My parents love having her around.

While in San Marcos, I did some Christmas shopping and watched a lot of good volleyball while visiting with friends. I always learn something new about volleyball or get a great idea for the next year during the times sitting and talking about that sport.




I also got the chance to visit my brother Chet and his new baby Jenna who was born 7 weeks early. She had only been home from the hospital 5 days when I got there. She is so precious. I felt special since I was the first one from our side that has seen her in person. We are blessed to have her home healthy.



On my way home I visited a couple friends in Cleburne. One inparticular, Renee, is a wonderful lady who was always there for me during the fun times and bad times in Cleburne. I wish I had her faith, strength and determination. This fall she underwent a double masectomy and is so full of optimism considering she is still not finished with her procedures. Every year she transforms her home into a Santa Clause - Christmas palace with Christmas trees in every room and there is a Santa sitting on every shelf, door frame, cabinet and wall. She said that she was not going to let this little old thing called breast cancer beat her and keep her from her tradition. That is a person I could learn a few things from. I wish she knew how much I have appreciated her. Words can not do it justice.

While I was on my way home, my wonderful husband told me that I had a surprise waiting for me the next morning. I couldn't think what in the world it could be. Little hints made me think it was a puppy but we had decided (I thought) to wait till Spring to get one. Well I get home Sunday evening and guess what was waiting on me. I little Australian Shepard puppy. Shane said it cost him a bale of cotton so it was fitting to name her BALEE. She is an early Christmas present.


If you know me at all you will know that I absolutely HATE cold weather. So the mornings have been in the 20's and 30's have made me not want to get out of bed and leave before the sun is rising. And I really have hated taking a puppy outside every 10 minutes to "potty". She has done a goo job with the training but she isn't fast enough for me. What were we thinking getting a puppy in the winter. Thankfully she is just too cute, otherwise she might have to stay outside all the time. I have had a wonderful Fall, but am now ready for the Christmas holidays.